Admiration

One of the best books I have ever read, His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Hartley Jr. discusses the five basic things a man needs from his mate. And of course the five basic things a woman needs from hers. I've included both of those lists at the end of this post, but there is one in particular, because of recent events, on which I'd like to focus.

Admiration.

Simply put, men have a strong need to be admired. I'm not talking about being told how hot we are, or what big strong men we are. I'm talking about a woman who is genuinely impressed by the things that make us who we are... as men. For some it's our intelligence, or the way we hold strongly to our moral code, or perhaps the skill with which we execute our favorite pastime. And yes, for some it is indeed in physical strength, or how good looking we are. Deeper still, it can be a collection of all these things and others not listed here. For me it's about being recognized for the skill I have in the things about which I am passionate.

Of the three things over which I am most fervent, writing is likely to be at the top of the list. And I enjoy being recognized for it. In my professional life I do a tremendous amount of technical writing and to lesser degree, marketing communications. As a hobby I have produced pieces in a variety of genres. And while I am proud of what I have created, it never gets old when another issues incredible praise for what I consider my art.

Yesterday I was challenged to create a short story after being given only a few pertinent pieces of information about a person. Two glasses of wine and a short break later, I produced a piece that had my recipient absolutely gushing with admiration. And in truth the praise was so genuine and so heartfelt that it actually caused me to cry... happy tears of course, but crying nonetheless. You see, It's been a very long time since anyone has giving me such a tremendous and uplifting admiration over something that comes from my heart. My wife, in spite of her goodness as a human being, never gave me such a gift. Not in any meaningful way. An I had forgotten what it was like. So when it came pouring out I was overwhelmed with pride, gratitude, humility, and inspiration. It was likely one of the best gifts I've received in a very long time and it made my heart smile. And once again borrowing a phrase from my daughter, for my heart it was a proper ear-to-ear grin!

Admiration is a powerful and wonderful feeling. So powerful that I simply felt compelled to share it with you all. I get exhausted sometimes conveying all the darkness that surrounds my life that I felt it was important to inject a little goodness. And I could not think of any better place to do that than here.

So... as I mentioned, the book, His Needs Her Needs, lists the five basic things both men and women need from their mate. And as promised I've listed those here for your reading pleasure. Keep in mind, they are not placed here in any particular order and it is stressed in the book, that they are neither mutually exclusive nor a representation of everything we as humans need. But here you go;

His Needs:

• An activity partner
• An enthusiastic sexual partner
• To find her attractive
• Domestic support
• To be admired

Her needs:

• An affectionate partner
• An intimate partner
• An open and honest partner
• Financial support
• A family commitment