The saga continues: Second guessing myself

It's tough enough accepting the failure with my now second marriage. My heart, my ego, my self-worth have all taken a hit such that I have a very hard time accepting a simple compliment as real. I question everything I do and still feel as though I'm living someone else's life. This couldn't possibly be happening to me! Add to this the business end of divorce and the resultant hit I have taken on everything from my heart to my psyche has me spinning! Achieving a simple balance right now is a daunting and seemingly untenable task. Yet here I am, dealing with the part I thought would be easy.

I am torn between being a good person and at the same time taking care of me and protecting myself from loss or financial hardship. At times these are two conflicting concerns. And in those moments I find myself floundering. Emotions get in the way of pragmatism and I'm left with a great deal of indecision. Even when I declare my position clearly and marked as final, I still second guess myself. I still contend however, that one of the most difficult things a person must do is knowingly cause harm to a person they care for. Even if it happens to be in the spirit of protecting myself and my interests.

My wife of course isn't happy with my position. That's to be expected but in her efforts to get me to reconsider, I'm left emotionally drained. This is just the beginning leg of what promisses to be an emotionally debilitating event in my life. Something for which I am terribly unprepared... Sigh.