Great wine pairings (or not)

So... this post has absolutely nothing to do with my separation or pending divorce. I’ve grown a bit tired of always focusing on my sadness, stress, worry, anger or general crappy feeling. So much so that this evening, after having enjoyed my dinner, I am going to instead focus on one of my newly discovered interests. Wine! Well, more specifically this post is about wine pairings. You know... the things that go WITH wine.

I’ve learned from some of the women in my life – my wonderful girlfriend, my daughter (she’s old enough), my mom, my best friend – that most women think it’s pretty damn sexy when a guy knows a thing or two about wine and what goes well with what. So, if you‘re a guy and want to impress the ladies – and trust me when I say this to you guys – stop reading now. None of this will help you. Really, I’m serious. Try this stuff with your date and you are certain NOT to get any.

I’ve developed quite a fondness for red wine. I love a good Merlot, Pinot, and I’m quite taken by the deeper reds like a nice Cabernet or Malbec. Ah! There is nothing quite so grand as sipping on a nice smooth Malbec, surrounded by soft candlelight and some nice jazz. A particular favorite of mine is Fabre Montmayour Grand Reserva from Argentina (About $20.00 a bottle at Wine Country in Long Beach). Being on a quest for understanding what does and what does not go well with such a wonderful full-bodied wine I decided to experiment a little. I should note here that I am so NOT qualified to discuss any of this.

First up; PB&J! Don’t try it... You won’t like it... I promise... But in all fairness it could be that when I make my version of the classic PB&J, it includes gobs of butter. I’m just sayin!

Okay next; Hotdogs! Nope, strike two. But again in all fairness I need to include my preparation style for the almighty dog. Here’s what you do; Grab a couple. I like turkey dogs myself but you can grab any that you like. Slice those puppies lengthwise about half way through and zap em in the ole microwave for about a minute. Be sure to pull them out BEFORE they explode (trust me on that one). Smear them in spicy mustard, wrap them with mild cheddar inside a flower tortilla and zap them again to melt the cheese. Yum! But not good with the Malbec. Oh man! REALLY NOT GOOD!

One more try; Apple-cinnamon Nutragrain bars. Now let it be known that my girlfriend doesn’t like Nutragrain bars. Though I don’t know why! They are fruity little treasures and very nutritious. I mean it’s right there in the name! NUTRA-grain. Right? And there is no preparation either. You simply rip the packaging and viola, munchies! That taste like absolute crap with the wine. But if you’re anything like me, by the time you get to this third test, you will have consumed so much wine that you really won’t care.

I am now sitting here trying desperately to wash the peanut butter, butter, jelly, hotdog with spicy mustard and cheese, and apple-cinnamon off my tongue so I can go back to enjoying my wine with a good, after-dinner smoke. Now THAT’s a pairing!