And with as much value as I have personally experienced, I have come to realize it may not have been a good idea after all. In truth I'm now considering its stoppage. Let me explain... When I started this blog, I made a list of rules for myself. All seeded in the awareness that something like this could cause others embarrassment if I didn't choose my words well. And while I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of managing that, in my two most recent posts I blew all that away and instead caused a lot of embarrassment, resentment, anger. Something about which I am very sorry. But as they say, you cannot un-ring the bell.
Ultimately, if the very nature of this sort of blog is such that I am rendered incapable of protecting the privacy and feelings of others, it isn't worth it. I seek to do no harm. So with this in mind, I think I may take a little time away to consider it all. At issue is the balance between what I (and others) get from this, and the recently proven potential for hurt. These both weigh heavily in my heart and both deserve equal consideration.
With all this said, I am openly inviting feedback from those who have been following me. And by feedback I mean tell me, honestly, your thoughts, impressions, and ideas. Even if you want to thrash me for my insensitivity. I can't make an informed decision without honest and complete information.
Kindly,
Karl
I've received a few emails in response to this post. And the feedback has been good. So far it seems there is an even split between, "Keep writing" and "Keep it private". So the jury is still out as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDeleteKeep the responses coming though! And thank you.
Karl
Sent to me by direct email. In my view, this is probably the most informative assessment of what I've been writing thus far. And to that end, should I decide to continue with the blog, I'll do my best to stick to subject matter that is more universally accepted... Here's the feedback I got:
ReplyDeleteNo, the blog definitely was not a bad idea, but the direction it has taken lately might be. It started out as a blog of universal, relatable topics so poignantly written. But the last
few have been highly private, more of a personal journal than a blog. Too private for me. I have felt like I was evesdropping
on therapy, or rummaging through your medicine cabinet. Hope you are doing well in your new place.
Another comment sent to me by direct email. Note that I haven't posted everything. Just the ones I feel make very significant points. Read on:
ReplyDeleteYou asked for feedback, so you shall get some.
I was pretty surprised when you started the public airing of your feelings and everything going on in your life. All I kept thinking of was your wife and how, if she read your blog, she would be horrified. Granted, you say nothing negative about her. Quite the opposite, which I admire.
I understand your need to get a lot of shit off your chest and to evaluate your past, present and future, but....I also think there are some things you should share with only a few select people. Even writing everything you have is good, but keeping it private is even better. There's just too much personal stuff being thrown out there for every nut job to read and it's a scary thought.
I'm sure you've helped others with issues they may be dealing with and I know it's helped you. I just think there are some things which are best left out of cyberspace.
Okay, that's my two cents.
Big hug my friend!
Comments keep coming by direct email instead of being posted here. But I'll keep popping stuff up here so others can see it. Here's the latest:
ReplyDeleteKarl,
I say the blog is a good idea. It helped me just knowing I'm not the only one who's going through these emotional ups and downs. I don't really need to know the super personal stuff but I like your writing style so I say tone it down a little and keep it coming. Just my opinion.
Hang in there man!
Hi, Karl.
ReplyDeleteI think you are a great writer and you are being honest and open about what is happening with your divorce. It's helpful for others to read, who are going through the same thing. I wish more people would post publicly, because responses might be helpful to read as well. I think if you enjoy writing and publicizing your journal, keep at it, especially if it helps you to process your feelings and to grow personally. Maybe some of us can help by telling you what we have experienced that might be similar. If things are too personal or private for some, than they don't have to read it. It is what it is. Divorce sucks and is very very hard! I feel for you.
One thing I wanted to say to you is that, having been separated since 10/08 and being very near a "final" divorce, there are many ups and downs we go through. When you think you might be done grieving, and have a few good days or a week or 2 of good days, you might experience some more grieving and mourning again. I think it's normal. At least that's what I have experienced. Hang in there! And keep blogging. I enjoy reading your "stories." That's my opinion.