Friday, August 12, 2011

Because you asked


I have to admit to a couple things here. First, I’m just a tad surprised and humbled by the number of people who reach out to me in the spirit of discovering how things have been. Secondly, I find it remarkable how, after so long, that my life can continue to evolve and change where one day to the next, I really don’t know what to expect. Life post-divorce is weird but when I consider what I’ve gained, I wouldn’t trade it away.

As you may recall, my divorce was finalized in January of this year. And in the wake of that process I did in fact walk away with all conditions exactly as I wanted. This however, is not to say I am unscathed.  Even the best of divorces come with tremendous loss… no one walks away a winner.

So where am I now? Well I’m still in the same little rental I moved into when we initially separated. I’m still working at the same job. I’m still learning new life-skills like how to cook real, honest-to-goodness food.

While I am absolutely certain that my divorce was the right thing for my heart, I still suffer moments of substantial loneliness. Though the frequency and duration of those moments have diminished measurably. I’ve discovered that I tend to fall for women who aren’t available. But if it weren’t for the friends I’ve made along the way I would have most certainly crumbled. Certainly.  So my important peeps are something for which I am very grateful. And the lessons I continue to learn from them are valuable indeed…

  • The truest measure of success is the depth and caliber of your relationships.
  • People come into your life for one of two reasons; either they need to teach you something, or need to learn something from you.
  • Love and hate go hand-in-hand but indifference is the antithesis of love.
  • It’s okay to feel bad for a friend who’s in a bad way, but it’s not ok to make their problems yours.
  • We teach people exactly how they should treat us... And the do…
  • Life and more importantly, living, is a work-in-progress.
  • Vulnerability is the birthplace of shame… but also at the core of joy, excitement, and human connection… love.
  • New socks feel wonderful.

 Be kind and respectful to yourself...

4 comments:

  1. Thank you for your thoughtful response, as usual. You are a humble man who carries value in our lives unknowingly. Be well friend. Be happy.

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  2. As what Albert Camus said: Life is the sum of all your choices. Meaning, we shouldn't waste a second to fritter our lives away by lamenting over our regrets. And I must say, you're doing a great job in recovering, Karl. Your learning from life after divorce is genuinely heartfelt. And yes, there's nothing like a pair of new socks! :)

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  3. How are you now? I hope you’ve been doing well after a year has passed. Separating with your loved one – whether you’re married or not – is never an easy thing. Somehow, your whole being just completely crumbles, and it’s hard to find something that will keep you from breaking apart completely. However, what they say is true – time heals. And I hope that by now, you’re already where you want to be – happy and whole again.

    ReplyDelete
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It's never enough for my particular bent on things to be the only thing people read. Your feedback is valuable because it lets me and others see multiple perspectives. You are invited and encouraged to leave a comment on this or any other post in this blog.

Thanks,
Karl