Don't mind me... I'm just ranting

I've been intentionally quiet these days. Opting for an emersion into what I would think to be a regular life. Given the conditions under which I have been living, hum-drum and average have a compelling draw. Yet I still find that the more I delve into the regular I am also burdened by a nagging sense of "all is not well" with my world.

The concrete stuff; close friends and family members with extreme health issues, unusual work-related challenges, somewhat of an impasse with someone important, trying to get a handle on cash-flow, the need to spend more than I want, weekend get-aways that are in jeopardy of cancellations for a variety of reasons, obligations stemming from my having spread myself too thin, my divorce has again stalled, waiting for my X2B to respond to the latest round of junk. And those evenings when I am home alone, I still find the silence deafening. It's all becoming too much.

These are the days where I'd like very much to simply vanish and find some solace that allows me to escape this "regular" world. To allow me a comfortable and stress-free rest. Oh how I long for a quiet and unencumbered, unburdened existence. One possible solution would be to be a witness to some horrific crime that causes me to fall into a witness-protection program where I am able to reinvent my life from the ground up. Where I can have a new identity, move to a place where no one knows me, to live afresh with no burdens or liabilities or boundaries. That's the ticket! An entirely new me. But alas the cost for such a fantasy is far too great.

Forgive my ranting. I'm just venting here because I'm certain my friends are simply tired of hearing it.